“By having to stare at and walk alongside the unflinching oblivion that is grief, you acknowledge that from then on, nothing will be the same. There is no going back, and that is a very, very, very sad thing. But one day, at least this is true in my experience, it will become easier to also understand that while nothing will bring them back, nothing can take away the good memories you have of them, and the love that you will always have for them.”

In episode #13 of Healing and Horsemanship, I dive into the deep, dark subjects that we tend to avoid in our everyday lives, even when we’ve been affected by them firsthand: grief and chronic pain.

You may have noticed the podcast has been quiet for some time.

I get into exactly why 2024 has taken a very unexpected turn and caused me to step back from this work in the episode. 

Read on or listen here to learn about my insights on the importance of validating pain in others (human and nonhuman animals), how strength of spirit is so much more valuable than physical strength, the phenomenon of losing a loved one and then birthing new life into the world, and much more.

Time to Heal

This is a very highly anticipated, long-awaited episode. And today I'm going to be talking about why the podcast has been quiet for some time. It feels surreal to sit down and get my microphone out and record as I look back, thinking that the last time that I did this, almost everything about my life was different.

So it has been not only a long time, but a hard time for me personally and my family. And I'll get into exactly why 2024 has taken a very unexpected turn and caused me to step back from this work. But first I just want to gear up by telling you what I'll be talking about in this episode. Number one, I'll be speaking to chronic pain in humans and horses. Well, not number one, (at some point in the episode), the importance of validating others' pain, and especially our own, thoughts on how to navigate the grief process when we lose a loved one, the phenomenon of losing a loved one and then birthing new life into the world, why I have the utmost respect for people who suffer from chronic pain without an end in sight, my journey undergoing the grief process and coping with chronic pain in a condensed timeline,and how strength of spirit is so much more valuable, in my opinion anyway, than physical strength. 

So yeah, guys, it's been a long time. The previous episode of this podcast, number 12, was released all the way back in November of 2023. I actually intended to have a break in December as a very big transition was happening then for me too. I was moving into my own office for my bodywork practice.

And January then turned into a whirlwind with me diving into my massage practice full time at my very first office as a solo practitioner. It was a really exciting time looking back, and it also feels surreal now knowing that just after it felt like I reached the height of my in-person work taking off and also earning more money than I had in any month in 2023.

It felt like January was just such a good start and such a good sign that 2024 would be amazing. But in fact, what happened was my personal life then came crashing down around me. And I'm thankful to be sitting here recording and telling you about it now. I do want to say that I think even though it's taken me a long time to put this episode out in the world, I think I've actually been putting off making this episode because it is another form of acknowledging one of the biggest tragedies I've ever experienced, which is why I took so much time off and the reason that my whole life was reoriented, including my work trajectory. 

While it is hard to talk about in a sense, I am honored to share this story here with you because it's not only a part of my healing on this grieving journey, but it is a way for me to spread the message and story of one of the most inspirational people I've been lucky to know, as well as talk about how grief affects our lives and how there is a light on the other side, how it's different for all of us, and how pain does not always make us stronger, but it does transform us. 

So I want to just give a big honoring shout out to the person this episode is dedicated to, my dad, the man who made me who I am in so many ways who I miss every single day. 

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